Dealing with difficult people – one of the key leadership competencies
by admin on 04/02/09 at 8:34 am
Building and leading a a successful team depends on co-operation between all members of the group. But what if an individual just won’t play ball…? Confrontations between leaders and team members are unproductive, take up time and most importantly create a bad atmosphere, lowering the morale of the team. One of the most difficult leadership competencies in our view is dealing with conflict.
So, what’s the best approach? First of all – let’s take a look at WHY conflict occurs – then it’ll be easier to see how to deal with it.
In this article – we use ‘Steve’ as our example, ‘difficult’ person…
Why do people become difficult?
1.) The limit of their capabilities has been reached
This could be in terms of skill set or physical workload… they start to make errors and don’t deliver to the required standard… this causes frustration with peers.
2.) They become disengaged
This can often be caused by frustration when high-achievers are held back for a long period of time – they will tend to withdraw from the team.
3.) They get distracted
Focus is key and if it moves elsewhere, effectiveness is reduced. Quite often the cause of distraction is for personal reasons and while colleagues will be sympathetic initially – the issue can become tedious for all.
4). Loss of motivation
Too little or too much delegation or challenge in the role can bring about demotivation. This can quickly effect the morale of others as well as themselves and is dangerous to productivity.
10 top tips for dealing with difficult people
1.) Start with yourself – you are leading a team – your position means you are an important factor in Steve’s dissatisfaction whether you like it or not. Individual differences in outlook or style can generate tension which could be used constructively or, if left unchecked can cause problems.
2.) Ask yourself whether you’ve exaplained new intiatives clearly enough to Steve – could he be causing insecurity or anxiety – remember people generally do not like change – and when emotions like fear come into play, people start to behave irrationally.
3.) Ask peers and other team members whether you come across as approachable and accessible – one of the best ways to deal with conflict is to get a balanced view on your personality traits. At least you then know the starting point for resolution.
4.) Decide whether you’ve made unreasonable demands of Steve. People don’t tend to admit when they are overloaded or out of their depth, for fear of reprimand. Go back and check and give them the opportunity to be honest.
5.) Find out if you’ve been unfair in your praise of others or criticism of poor old Steve. Consult trusted members of the team and Steve himself. Remember, if you are leader, you have the power to ‘play with peoples’ lives’ – seemingly innocuous comments can be taken in the wrong way.
6.) Find out what motivates each member of the team – ask yourself if you are over or under delegating to Steve. Over-delegating can cause a real fear of failure, causing unnecessary conflict.
7.) Arrange time off for Steve (and we’re starting to feel really sorry for him now) if there is a personal issue lurking behind the scenes – listen sympathetically to the issues but make sure you recognise when the problem is beyond your ability to help and figure out how to bring in the right people if required.
8.) If Steve has become disengaged, explore the causes face to face. It’s possible that if he has recently joined your team you need to release the burden of all the past broken promises and build up new trust again.
9.) If conflict has arisen due to Steve being simply overloaded, offer support and training if required over a reasonable timescale – but make it clear if improvement doesn’t materialise that his future in your team is limited.
10.) It’s your job as a leader to get to know your team members really well. You will then be able to notice changes in their mood, patterns of work, or work-life balance which often signal stress and potential conflict.
And finally
Dealing with Steve and difficult people generally is definitely one of the more difficult leadership competencies… it is tempting to work round a difficult person and to ’sweep them under the carpet’ but you will only undermine the standards you’ve set for the team and your own position. Other members of the team will also realise that being difficult gets them out of dealing with the tasks they don’t like.
As a leader – don’t bury these issues… work hard to deal with them early on in the process.
Remember, many people do not cope well in adversarial situations and may even sabotage their own future because they cannot see a simple way out of the conflict. If your fair and balanced approach cannot resolve the issue – don’t be afraid to involve your organisation’s disciplinary policy to prevent wider problems from occurring.
If you need more help dealing with a Steve – check out this great resource.
And Steve – buck your ideas up will you?
Related articles
- INDISPENSABLE LEADERSHIP SKILLS: Report Explores Most Important Qualities for Managing Design Teams (newswire.ca)
- The Difference Between Panic and Urgency (myventurepad.com)
- Don’t Wait for Leadership (myventurepad.com)
Image courtesy of Martin Kingsley
